Michael:  Greetings.this is Michael I would like to booked you for my family celebration party and do you accept all means of payment. Kindly text me on my direct number for more details thanks.


Scot:  For reservations, please call **********


Michael:  Thank you for your response let me know the availability dates you have between 29th or 30th for 80 people food and drink to pickup are you the owner?


Scot:  We never have dates available for 80 people.  Yes, I am the owner.


Michael:  Okay good can you send me your menu pricing 


Scot:  theflamingbuoy.com/menu


Michael:  Crock of chili, caprese flatbread,tomato basil bisque,caesar salad,sliders 


I want you to put something together for me here my budget is $15/25 per person for 80 people food also appreciate if you can send me your cell phone number to text you better communication thank you 


Scot:  Please submit an original handwritten order and a copy for each of the 80 people who are expected to dine on a sheet of 8.5 X 11 lined notebook paper and mail it to The Flaming Buoy Filet Co. Dept. of Paranormal Investigation. Please include a self-addressed, stamped envelope.  We must receive the letters by 9:00 tonight.  No exceptions – except for the one exception, the nature of which I will not disclose.


We will investigate your haunting, but ask that neither the media nor screen actress Gwyneth Paltrow be involved.  I will contact the media, contacting Gwyneth Paltrow will be your task.  I would contact her myself but we had a falling out when I toid her I thought her best role was as a head in a box at the end of the movie “Se7en.”


You do not need my cell phone number.  At least one of us communicating well enough for both of us.




JUNE 2021