WHEN THINGS GO SOUTH

A Review of The Flaming Buoy Filet Co.

And a Reply

[Best read in the voice of Designing Women’s Julia Sugarbaker as portrayed by the Emmy Award nominated actor Dixie Carter]

 

THE REVIEW

Came in, we were not greeted. So we sat down at an open table, then we were brought silverware and offered waters. Another waiter then walks by says they had a reservation for the table we were sitting at, so we were asked to move to a corner table. We moved and then we were asked to move yet again minutes later. The staff here sure know how to embarrass a newly wed couple here on our honeymoon for their own lack of communication. Would recommend you go elsewhere, might get table shamed in front of the whole restaurant going here.

Bill Smith

A REPLY

[Best read in the voice of Designing Women’s Julia Sugarbaker as portrayed by the Emmy Award nominated actor Dixie Carter]

 

Dear Bill,

Allow me to apologize for the unfortunate confusion surrounding your honeymoon visit to The Flaming Buoy Filet Co.

 

However, as there is a sign immediately inside the front door which reads, "Please Wait To Be Seated," the server responsible for that section of the restaurant you occupied rightly assumed that the host had greeted you, sat you, and, while working through the confusion and, I’m sure, whispered arsenal of swear words directed in annoyance to said host responsible for this rare aberrance of procedure, he now needed to quickly hustle and set a table for two guests that had no silverware, no napkins, no water, no menus, and, as we would soon learn, no forethought of reservations.

 

When the four guests to whom the table did belong arrived–making evident the surely innocent circumstances of overlooking a sign not uncommon in restaurants without drive through windows and servers in paper hats–we were made to realize a couple of things: 1) We needed the table big enough to seat four people–the table you chose for yourselves–as we had no other tables large enough to accommodate the party. 2) We hastily pursued an attempt to further accommodate your unplanned visit. Too hastily, perhaps.

 

Multiple apologies were offered in good faith for our scramble to un-monkey the wrench in our works, at it were.

 

Understand, we were trying to accommodate your restaurant elopement on a very busy night while also making certain that those who anticipated dinner by making prior arrangements were seated quickly, comfortably, and, quite frankly, kept blissfully unaware of any drama in the arena that may threaten to darken their evening. Therefore, take comfort in the assurance that your embarrassment was for yourselves.

 

(I must add, too, the staff is not trained in embarrassing newly wed couples, throuples, trysts, or other colorful menageries of relationships of which we, in fact, find delight, if not wholly and unequivocally encourage.)

 

Regards,
R. Scot Forste

Co-Owner, The Flaming Buoy Filet Co.

AUG 21