NO SMOKING

SOME CONTEXT:  I ASKED A WOMAN SEATED ON THE PATIO NEXT TO AN ELDERLY COUPLE TO PLEASE NOT SMOKE.  AS SHE FREQUENTLY REMINDED US, SHE WAS A RETIRED STOCKBROKER.  SHE WAS ACCOMPANIED BY A MAN AND HER SMALL SUPPORT DOG, BOTH OF WHOM SAT ON CHAIRS AND ATE OFF THE TABLE.  SHE WAS DISPLEASED WITH THE REQUEST TO NOT SMOKE. WORDS WERE EXCHANGED, TO THE SHOCK OF EVERYONE SEATED ON THE PATIO.  THE ALTERCATION CONTINUED LATER THAT NIGHT, AT FIRST IN A VOLLEY OF PHONE CALLS – IN WHICH SHE REFERRED TO US AS "FAGS".  EVENTUALLY, WE BEGAN RECEIVING EMAILS:

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MILLIE:

On Feb 3, 2015 at 10:00, AM, M L

As "Tom" the owner claimed, the FL Clean Air Act allows smoking on outdoor patios.

 

Subject: The department has filed a Notice of Proposed Rulemaking to implement statutory provisions relating to theFlorida Clean Indoor Air Act and smoking in stand-alone bars

http://members.floridalegion.org/content/Resources/Documents/FCIAA.pdf

 

Sent from my iPad

 

 

ME:

Dear M,

I'm not sure for what reason you sent this email.

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I know of no "Tom" at my establishment.

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But, had I a "Tom" at my establishment, his statement would be correct, provided the following:

 

24. What is an outdoor patio?

An outdoor patio is a place NOT predominantly or totally bounded all sides and above by physical barriers regardless of whether such barriers consist of or include, without limitation, uncovered openings, screened or otherwise partially covered openings, or open or closed windows, jalousies, doors or the like.

 

...

 

A place is “predominantly” bounded by physical barriers anytime BOTH of the following conditions exist:

it is more than 50 percent covered from above by a physical barrier that excludes rain, and more than 50 percent of the combined surface area of its sides is covered by closed physical barriers. [See s. 386.203(5), Florida Statutes]

 

Did you mean to write, "Unlike what 'Tom' the owner claimed, the FL  Clean Air Act allows smoking on outdoor patios"?

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 "Tom" would have been mistaken.

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However, were "Tom" me, Scot, the owner, and had you been listening to me, Scot, and not "Tom", he would have explained that his legal right as the business owner—if not his moral obligation to the patrons in the vicinity of your toxic waft—is to forbid smoking anywhere on his business's property regardless of whether or not Florida law permits smoking in that area.

 

 In fact, according to the lovely woman I, Scot, spoke to on the phone at the number at the bottom of the attached PDF you provided in a moment of misguided consideration, I could have called the police and had you removed for smoking on my premises.

 

She was kind enough to send the following email:

 

Dear Constituent:

 

Thank you for contacting the Department of Health about smoking on restaurant patios.  The Florida Clean Indoor Air Act prohibits smoking in enclosed indoor workplaces.  It does not cover outside areas.  Therefore, whether to allow or disallow smoking on the patio of a restaurant is at the discretion of the proprietor or person in charge.

 

Please see link below – there is no constitutional right to smoke!  Should you require additional information, please do not hesitate to correspond or call our office at (800) 337-3742.

 

http://www.publichealthlawcenter.org/sites/default/files/resources/tclc-syn-constitution-2008_0.pdf

 

Sincerely,

 

Sonja Bradwell

Sr. Human Services Program Specialist

Bureau of Tobacco Free Florida

Florida Department of Health

4052 Bald Cypress Way, Bin C-23

Tallahassee, Florida  32399-1743

Email:  sonja.bradwell@FLHealth.gov

Phone:  (800) 337-3742  Fax:  (850) 414-7497

www.tobaccofreeflorida.com

 

Take the cigarette out of your mouth and suck on that for a moment.

 

Regards,

R. Scot Forste 

 

 

MILLIE:

On Feb 3, 2015 at 10:07, AM, M L

http://2012.servicedogsfl.org/?p=34

 

 

ME:

Dear M,

Another cryptic linK.

Again, I'm not certain why I'm receiving this.

Let me try one:

    http://youtu.be/dQw4w9WgXcQ

 

Regards,

R. Scot Forste

 

 

MILLIE:

On Feb 3, 2015 at 3:08, PM, M L

    Scot pretended to be Tom, too much of a COWARD to say his real name...

    Call the police next time on a smoker and see what happens? Bitter. Bitter. Bitter. 

Sent from my BlackBerry 10 smartphone. 

 

 

ME:

Dear M,

In what world—outside of the one where you would have to own up to a mistake, ignoring your shoes for the present—would it make sense for me to pretend to be Tom?

 

Perhaps you are sending these emails to the wrong person?

 

Here are a list of Toms you may have meant to contact:

 

Tom Cruise

Tom Brady

Tom Hanks

Tom Jones

Tom Thumb

Tom Hardy

Tom Selleck

Tom Petty

Tom Ford

Tom Wopat

Tom Bosley

Tom Arnold

Tom Waits

Tom Berenger

Tom Landry

Tom Brokaw

 

I hope this helps you.

 

Also, are you really still using a BlackBerry? Those stock dividends must not be paying off like they used to. 

 

Regards,

R. Scot Forste

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